


Walk Blindly On

by lielabell



Category: Harry Potter - Fandom
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-10-14
Updated: 2009-10-14
Packaged: 2017-10-25 00:50:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/269848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lielabell/pseuds/lielabell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written to this prompt: "Drama mixed with angst and noncheesy fluff and background to ‘work out’ the issues in HBP"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Walk Blindly On

"Like a pawn on the eternal board who's never quite sure what he's moved towards I walk blindly on" The Bottom Line, Depeche Mode

 _Saturday, September 7, 1996: The Room of Requirement, seven forty-five pm_

Ginny stared at the plain wooden door chewing her lips distractedly. She wanted desperately to enter, had been waiting for an opportunity to meet him here since the start of the term, but she wasn’t certain that it was the right thing to do.

They had only been together twice, both times in darkened hallways. Seven days. In that amount of time they normally snuck off to the Room of Requirement three times as often. And something was not quite right with Draco. Things had changed. She didn’t know why, but Draco was harder, more dangerous, than before.

So she stood there, her hand half way to the knob, trying to work up the courage to open it.

How long she would have stayed like that she couldn’t say, because the sound of feet tramping closer and the laughter of nearby students made up her mind for her. She let her hand close on the metal and slowly turn. Then she slid quickly inside, trying her hardest not to think of what was to come.

“It took you long enough.” Draco snapped as Ginny closed the door behind her. He had been pacing the room only seconds before; worried that she would not show.

“I had to get away without being seen.” Ginny offered.

“You never had a problem before.”

“I’ve never dated a boy from my own House.” Ginny said by way of explanation.

Draco’s eyes widened and his hands clenched. “So it’s true.”

Ginny nodded. “I’m with Dean now.”

“Blaise said as much.” Draco said distractedly. “I didn’t believe him at the time. Looks like I should have.” He walked over to the bed and sank down onto it. His hands covering his face.

“I should explain.” Ginny said her voice breaking. “It’s not what it seems like.”

“Don’t use that line on me Ginny.” Draco said quietly.

“It’s not a line. I swear it!” Ginny crossed the room and stood before him. “I have a plan. One that will make everything so much easier for us. But I needed a boyfriend for it to work. So when Dean asked me, I said yes.” It wasn’t the truth, but that didn’t matter.

Draco eyed her skeptically. “And that plan would be what exactly?”

Ginny sighed. “Well, it’s pretty vague, but it involves me sneaking out of my room to supposedly snog with Dean and ending up snogging you.”

Draco laughed. “What am I going to do with you Weasley?”

“Kiss me.” Ginny sauntered over to the bed and stood between his legs. She reached down and tilted his chin up towards her. “Now.”

“No.”

“No?”

“We need to talk.”

“Talk about what?” Ginny asked sullenly.

Draco raised an eyebrow. “Are you going to pretend you don’t know? Come now, Ginny, you’re better than that.”

Ginny shrugged. “So hex me if I don’t feel like having a row.”

Draco’s hands tighten around her legs. “Who said anything about a row?”

“Don’t be daft. Of course we’re going to row. We always do whenever we decide to chat.” Ginny stepped away from him. She walked over to an oversized armchair and dragged it back to the bed. “Merlin, this thing is heavy.”

Draco smirked. “A simple spell would have done that for you.”

“I know that.” Ginny huffed.

“Don’t take that tone with me. I was only trying to be helpful.” Draco said with a laugh.

“Well don’t be.”

“Stop being so touchy. I’ll start to think you don’t like me.”

“I’m not touchy.” Ginny plopped into the chair. “I just don’t see the need to use magic on something easily done without it. And I’ll thank you not to act as if I don’t know how to do a basic summoning charm.”

“Remember what I said about being touchy?”

“Just shut it, would you.” Ginny said as she loosen the knot of her tie.

Draco watched her with narrowed eyes as she pulled her jumper off and toed out of her shoes. “I said we were going to chat.”

“So chat.”

“Sweet Jesus, I think she’s trying to kill me.” Draco said in mock dismay as Ginny started unbuttoning her shirt.

“Finding it hard to focus, are you Malfoy?” Ginny asked with a chuckle.

“As would any bloke.” Draco said with a smirk that quickly faded as the shirt followed the jumper to the floor.

Ginny grinned at the dumbstruck expression on his face. “I’ll be having that kiss now.”

“Anything you want, love.” Draco stood and quickly closed the space between them. He pushed gently on her shoulders and smiled as she sank into the chair. Then he leaned over and brushed his mouth against hers. She sighed and parted her lips, her tongue sliding past his lips to mate with his own. Draco bent lower, angling his mouth and deepening the kiss.

Ginny’s hands found their way to the back of his head and she tangled her fingers in his hair. She arched up towards him, pulling him closer as she did. Draco braced himself on the arms of the chair as he lowered himself against her. Ginny moaned and she slide one hand down his body. She sighed as she felt him straining against his trousers.

Draco broke the kiss. “Like what you found?” he asked in a harsh whisper.

Ginny nodded and stroked him through the fabric. “Seems to me that you have far too many clothes on.” She said with a mischievous grin. She gave him one last squeeze and reached out to tug on the hem of his jumper.

“Ginny, what are you doing?” Draco asked with a strange hitch in his voice.

“Unwrapping my prize.” Ginny answered cheekily.

“Don’t.” Draco said as he tried to disentangle her hands.

Ginny laughed, her brown eyes twinkling with delight. “Are you shy then?” she asked with a grin. “Come on, be a dear and let me see how the summer’s treated you.”

“Stop Ginny.” Draco said a little desperately.

Ginny gave him a wary look. “Why? You’ve never been the least bit hesitant before.”

“I am now.”

“Like hell you are.” Ginny thought he was just playing some sort of game with her and decided she had had enough of it. She let go of him and whipped out her wand. “Accio Draco’s jumper!” She giggled at the startled look on his face. “I told you I could do a basic summoning charm.”

“You little, it’s a good thing I like you.” Draco groused.

“You’ll like me more when we get this off you.” Ginny said coyly as she attempted to unbutton his shirt.

“No!” Draco yelled as he jerked away.

Ginny blinked at him. “What’s going on?”

“I, um, I just don’t want to, alright?”

“Don’t give me that.” Ginny said suspiciously. “You haven’t a humble bone in your body. And I know from past experience that you never let a chance to flaunt yourself pass you by.”

“Flaunt myself? I do not flaunt.” Draco said snidely.

“Fine, you don’t flaunt. But you do make good use of what little time we have alone together. Gen up.”

“Ginny. It’s nothing. I just don’t feel in the mood, that’s all.”

“Really?” Ginny said archly as she reached between them to grasp his still erect penis. “Because this says you are.”

Draco swore. “Get off me!” He grabbed her wrist and yanked her hand away. “I don’t just feel you up, do I?”

“What’s wrong with you Draco?” Ginny asked desperately. “I don’t understand. One minuet you’re ready to go and the next you’re acting like I’m trying to attack you.”

“I didn’t want to do this. That’s not the reason I asked you here. I just wanted to chat.”

“Chat? You never want to chat.” Ginny said in disbelief.

“I do now, alright? So keep your ruddy hands to yourself.”

Ginny stared at him, a terrifying thought filling her mind. “It’s true then, isn’t it?”

“What’s true? What are you on about?”

“Harry says you’re a Death Eater. He won’t shut up about it.”

“Oh and when has Perfect Potter ever been right about me?” Draco sneered.

“That’s what I thought. But now,” Ginny shrugged. “There’s an easy way to prove you’re not.” She said with a pointed look at his left arm.

Draco frowned at her. “Get stuffed.”

“You won’t show me?”

“No. I won’t show you. Why should I have to?”

“To prove you aren’t one of them.” Ginny said with a sigh. “I understand why you are upset, but if you let me see your arm I promise I’ll make it up to you.”

“You can’t be serious. Merlin! How would you react if I accused you of being a Death Eater?”

Ginny sighed. “Look, I’m sorry. I guess I just let my imagination get the best of me.” She gave him a little smile. “Forgive me?” she asked as she held out her arms.

“Of course I do.” Draco said as he wrapped her in a hug.

“Then you’ll forgive me for this too.” Ginny said as she pinned his arm between her hip and the chair. She grabbed her wand and muttered a quick spell. The seams of his shirt sleeve spit and the fabric fell away, leaving his left arm bare. “Holy Mother of God!” Ginny screamed. Now it was Draco pinning her in place as she as she attempted to get out of his reach.

“Stop that! Ginny, listen to me. Let me explain.” Draco said frantically.

“There’s nothing to explain! You’re evil! You’re in league with him.” Ginny said in a frightened voice as she struggled to break free. “Let go of me now.”

“You’re lucky you’re my witch, Weasley.” Draco growled. “No one else would dare speak to me so.”

“Your witch.” Ginny gave a nervous laugh. “I’m not your witch.”

“Oh really?” Draco scoffed. “You certainly seem to be playing the part.”

“Do I? Well maybe in your world I am. But where I come from a boy has to ask a girl a certain question before she becomes his. And as far as I can recall, you haven’t asked me that yet.” Ginny’s smile was feral. “So I am most definitely not your witch.”

“Are you really going to argue over semantics?” Draco said condescendingly.

“With that monstrosity on your arm? You bet I am.”

“Ginny…”

“Don’t ‘Ginny’ me Draco.” Ginny snapped. “There is nothing, nothing, you can say that will justify you having that thing.”

“Nothing? Not one thing?” Draco glared. “Are you so certain of that Ginny? Would you state that so emphatically without once hearing my reasons?”

“Yes, I am.” Ginny frowned. “I know right from wrong, black from white. Don’t make the mistake of thinking you can explain my ability to have rational thought away.”

“Good Lord! Doesn’t that Weasley mind of yours have any room for shades of grey?” Draco said only half in jest. “I am willing to bet my life that if you were in the my shoes, if you had been given the same set of choices I was, that you would have a Dark Mark on your arm too.”

Ginny gave a hollow laugh. “And just what is it that you think would cause me to turn my back on my family?”

“Saving their lives.” Draco answered bluntly. “If you knew that saying no meant that all those muggleloving, redheaded Weasels would be murdered you’d sign up for your Mark in a heartbeat.”

“Don’t call my family names.” Ginny said weakly.

“Don’t change the subject. You know I’m right so just admit it.”

“But what if…”

“No ‘what if’, no qualifying factors. Just you face to face with the Dark Lord and the uncompromising knowledge that the lives of those you hold most dear is resting on your decision.”

Ginny swallowed. “It couldn’t have been as bad as that.”

Draco gave a harsh laugh. “My Aunt is the one who brought me to him. My Aunt. Ginny, do you have any idea what that was like? And do you honestly think that they would have just let me walk out of there if I had said no? I would have died. My parents would have died. And for what?”

Draco jerked away from Ginny. He stalked over to the bed and sat on the edge of it, his arms wrapping protectively around his chest. Ginny bit her lip, wanting to reassure him but not knowing what to say. Finally she settled for physical comfort. She walked to him and raised his face. Then she bent down and gently kissed his lips.

“I’m here, Draco.” She said softly. Her eyes filled with the words she couldn’t say. “You’re not alone.”

 _Monday, October 28, 1996: The Room of Requirement, nine twenty pm_

“You’ve been crying again, haven’t you?” Ginny asked as she combed her fingers through her long red hair. She was sitting on a bed done in greens and silver facing an unusually pale Draco. His bloodshot eyes narrowed and he made a dismissive sound. “So eloquent.” She said nastily. “Really Draco, how hard is it to say yes or no?”

“I’m not discussing this with you.” He said in clipped tones, his shoulders hunching defensively.

“It wouldn’t have anything to do with what happened to Katie, would it?” Ginny said, lips pursed.

“I told you I’m not talking about it.”

“Oh don’t be such a prat.” She said with an exasperated sigh. “I already know that it does, so you can just cut the crap.” She leaned back and surveyed him. She took in the bags under his eyes and the way his robes seemed to hang off him. Her brow furrowed. “What I can’t understand is why you would go after Katie. She not all that important, no close ties with Harry, so why did you pick her?”

“I didn’t.” Draco said peevishly. “What happened to Katie was completely out of my control.” He rubbed his eyes and sank onto the bed. “I’ve been trying to stall for time Ginny. I’ve got this plan, you see. It will work, I’m sure it will, but I need more time.” He sighed and leaned his head on her shoulder. “What happened to Bell was my warning.”

“Your warning? Katie could have died!” Ginny shoved his head away and crawled to the end of the bed. She pulled her knees to her chest and hugged them. “Is this what you signed on for Draco? Putting your fellow students in danger? I mean, it’s Katie! She’s a pureblood from a good family, not a single mugglelover among them. Where does she rank in the grand scheme of things? Somewhere above a Prewett but below a Warrington?”

“Don’t ask me Ginny! I’m not the one pulling the strings; the Dark Lord is. And if he wants to teach me a lesson then no one is going to stop him, now are they?”

“Well you would know, wouldn’t you?” Ginny said bitterly. “Who’s next? Which of my friends am I going to have to see shipped off to St. Mungo’s next?”

“How many times do I have to tell you I had nothing to do with that necklace! I was in detention with that hag McGonagall, as you bloody well know.”

“That doesn’t mean anything.” Ginny said dismissively.

“Really? Have you never had the pleasure of sitting through one of her detentions then? Because if you had then you would know that she watches you like a hawk and that you don’t have a chance to do anything without her seeing.” Draco ran a hand through his hair agitatedly.

“Come off it. Even the first years know how to get around her.”

“Maybe she doesn’t hover over her precious Gryffindors the way she does over us Slytherins.”

“Maybe. Maybe not.” Ginny crossed her arms over her chest. “But don’t expect me to believe that you are rendered blameless by one of her detentions. Anyone with brains would be sure to have a watertight alibi and Lord knows you’re always one step ahead of the rest.”

Draco scowled. “You don’t trust me.”

“Spot on.” Ginny said sarcastically.

“You could at least pretend like you do.” Draco said indignantly.

“And what would be the point in that? We would both know that I was lying.”

“So what if we did. Would it hurt anyone?” Draco gave a half smile.

“I guess not.” Ginny looked at her hands. “But it wouldn’t be the truth.”

“And do you always tell the truth Ginny?”

“Not at all. But I would hope that my honestly with you would be something you valued about our relationship.”

 _Saturday, December 21, 1996: The Room of Requirement, eight fifty-two pm_

“Can’t you shut it for two minuets?” Draco snapped, his eyes flashing.

“No, I can’t. Harry is on to you. You can’t just ignore that.” Ginny said, her cheeks flushed.

“I’ve noticed. And I’ve taken certain steps to keep him off my trail.”

“Well you aren’t doing enough! The boy’s absolutely obsessed. All he does is talk about you and your plans and what you might be up to and where you might be going. It’s driving my brother mental. Which means it is a big problem.”

“I don’t see how.”

“No, you wouldn’t, would you.” Ginny said exasperatedly. “You just don’t get it. Harry will not stop. He’s single minded to the point of recklessness and once he sets his mind to something he won’t give up until he’s been proven right.”

Draco snorted. “And you think I don’t know this? I’ve known him for just about six years now Ginny, longer than you have, and I know what he’s like. And I’m not going to let that distract me. I have much more important things on my mind then Harry bloody Potter.”

“And what might that be?” Ginny stood with her hands on her hips and a mulish expression on her face.

“None of your business.” Draco said with a sigh.

“Right.” Ginny said waspishly. “Well, if that is all you have to say then I think I should leave.”

“Bugger. Ginny, don’t be like that.” Draco said helplessly. “You know I didn’t plan on us fighting when I asked you to meet me.”

“Draco, all we ever do is fight.” Ginny said with a sigh. “I can’t remember the last time the two of us were together when we didn’t.”

“Now that is downright depressing Ginny.”

“You’re right, it is.” Ginny said with a sigh. “I don’t know how much more of this I can take.”

“What exactly do you mean?” Draco asked nervously.

“Draco, you and I have been on edge ever since the start of term and I’m bloody well sick of it.”

“And you think I’m not?”

“I don’t know what to think.” Ginny frowned. “I just don’t see the point anymore, you know?”

“No, I don’t know. And I don’t think I want to.” Draco sneered.

“There’s no use getting into a snit. All I’m saying is that things aren’t like they use to be.”

“Of course they aren’t.” Draco said placatingly. “Things change. That’s the way of the world. We just have to adapt to whatever fate brings.”

“I don’t want to adapt. I shouldn’t have to.” Ginny gave a half smile. “I just want to enjoy the time I spend with you. Is that too much to ask?”

 _Tuesday, March 11, 1997: An Unused Classroom near Gryffindor Tower, seven fifteen pm,_

“What’s wrong with you Ginny? You don’t come round. You don’t return my owls. You don’t seem to notice I even exist.”

“You don’t. Not to me. Not now. I know what you are up to and I don’t want any part of it.” Ginny tugged free. “Shove off Draco.”

“No.” He glanced down and took a deep breath. “If you figured things out, then you know I’m not trying. Not really.”

“Oh, and that just makes everything better? You hurt people Draco. Katie is still in St. Mungo’s and Ron,” she sucked her lower lip in her mouth and gulped. “Ron nearly died. He’s my brother and he means a whole lot more to me than some boy I’m shagging.”

“Some boy you’re shagging? Is that all that I am to you? Some boy you just happen to be having sex with?”

“Yes.” Ginny said defiantly.

“Ah, Ginny,” Draco said with a shake of his head. “You’re a crap liar and you know it.”

“And that changes everything does it? So what if I cared about you. Do you really think that matters? Did you honestly think I would just let you attempting to kill my brother slide on account of my feelings for you?” Ginny gaped at him in disbelief.

“I didn’t try to kill your effing brother! I had nothing to do with that!” Ginny snorted and Draco glared at her. “Think what you will, but I didn’t. I’m not on friendly terms with ‘ol’ Sluggy’ as you very well know.”

“You know who did.” Ginny said in a hushed whisper. Draco blanched. He tried to think of a way out of the trap she had laid, nervously shifting his weight. Ginny eyed him suspiciously, her fingers twisting together in her lap. “There’s no use denying it. I can see the truth written across your face.”

“So what if I do?” he snarled, his face contorting with helpless rage. “It’s not as if I have much of a choice, now is it? I told you, they are going to kill my family!”

“And that makes it alright to kill mine?” Ginny asked bitterly.

“Ginny, you know it’s not like that.” Draco said placating. He reached out to hug her but she shifted away.

“But it is like that. You just act, Draco. You don’t think. You never think. It’s always about now, never about tomorrow. And a person can’t live like that without something bad coming of it.” She sighed and shrugged her shoulders. “I can’t stand here, knowing what you are planning and do nothing about it. I’m not that sort of person. I’m sorry, but this,” she waved a hand between them “has got to stop. It’s just not worth it.”

“That’s a load of horseshit if I ever heard it.” Draco ran his hands angrily through his hair. He glanced down at his left arm and grimaced. “Don’t go acting all holier than thou now Ginny. You knew what I was. You knew it the second you saw my arm. So you can just shut it. We both know you could never give this up.”

“That’s what you think Draco. That’s what you think.” Ginny said as she walked out the door.

 _Tuesday, May 7, 1997: The Hospital Wing, close to midnight_

“Draco?” Ginny crouched next to the cot and glared at the sleeping boy. “Draco?” she said a little louder. Still nothing. She rolled her eyes and tapped his forehead. “Wake up!”

“Hum what? Who is that?” Draco rolled onto his back and attempted to sit up. Then he let out a harsh sound and fell back on his pillows, a hand pressed to the wounds on his chest.

“It’s me.” Ginny leaned closer, trying to see his face in the faint light of the moon.

“Ginny?” Draco asked incredulously.

“Of course.”

“What are you doing here?”

“Visiting you.” She said in a tone clearly conveying her concern. “God Draco, I had to come see you.” Ginny whispered. “I couldn’t stand it. When I heard what had happened…” she shivered. “I know that things aren’t the best between us, but I couldn’t bear to think that you were here hurting without anyone to care for you.”

“Don’t be daft. Madame Pomfrey is taking excellent care of me. And Pansy was up here all afternoon.” Ginny blinked and gave him a hard look. She cocked her head to the side, pursing her lips. Draco took in her offended air and snorted. He stared down at his hands as if they were the most fascinating things he had ever seen.

“Well, I can see that my presence isn’t necessary.” Ginny huffed. She started to stand, was taken off balance by the hand that wrapped around her arm and toppled onto the bed. Draco let out a long gush of air as her body slammed into his chest.

“Merlin!” Ginny shrieked, scrambling to get away from him. “What in the bloody hell do you think you are doing?”

“Stopping you.” Draco wheezed. “Seemed like a good idea at the time.”

“Stupid git! You could have done yourself a major injury.”

“I could have? You’re the one that did the inuring.” Draco muttered. “I think you might have reopened them.”

“Tell me you’re joking.” Ginny said as she gently prodded his bandages. “Think before you act Draco.” She finished her search and gave him a little pat. He caught her hand and pulled it to his lips.

“Ginny.” He whispered and kissed it. She tried to tug free but he was having none of it. “Stop struggling, you wouldn’t want a repeat of last time, would you?”

Ginny muttered something about boys and their inability to face reality, but she stilled and snuggled into his side. She let her head rest on his shoulder and sighed. “I would assume you have a reason for wanting me to stay.”

“I, well, I just wanted to tell you,” Draco’s voice faded out.

Ginny let the silence grow until she couldn’t take it any more. “You wanted to tell me what?”

“I wanted to tell you that you mean more to me than any other girl.” Draco turned towards her on the bed so that their noses were almost touching. He reached across the space between them and started running his hand through her hair, his eyes never leaving hers. “I can’t explain it Ginny. I can’t begin to tell you how much you matter. And these last few months… It’s been hell not having you about.”

“Draco, I,” Ginny rushed to explain but he cut her off.

“No. Let me finish. You can say all you like afterwards.” Draco mouth twisted up as she nodded. “I should have told you months ago, when I first realized it, but I was selfish. I didn’t want to share it with anyone, not even you. It was my own little secret, something for me to treasure, but now I see that I was wrong. I should have given it to you too. Ginny, I love you. I love that you laugh at my jokes; I love the way your eyes wrinkle up when you smile. I love you ability to see the best in every situation and that you never back down, even when you are clearly on the losing side. Most of all, I love the way you make me feel when I am with you.”

Ginny closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She felt a sob start in her chest and quickly stifled it. She wanted to kiss him and tell him she felt the same way, but she knew that she couldn’t. She had chosen her path and there was no going back now. She licked her lips and said nothing.

Draco felt the beginnings of panic when she didn’t respond. His heart beat faster, his breathing sped up and his hands started to sweat. “Ginny?”

“I’m sorry Draco.” Ginny said tightly. “I’m so very sorry.”

“Sorry? I just told you I love you and that’s all you can say? You are sorry?”

“What do you want me to say? You love me. That’s nice. That makes all the difference. Now I can leave my family and friends and join you in your half-arsed plans for world domination. Really Draco.” Ginny said sardonically.

“I’m not asking you to join me in anything, half-arsed or otherwise.” Draco said petulantly.

“Aren’t you?” Ginny asked knowingly.

“All I want is to be with you, Ginny.” Draco’s hand tightened in her hair. “Say you’ll wait for me. I don’t care if it’s a lie, just tell me you love me and you’ll be there when all this is over.”

“Good Lord, Draco! The war hasn’t even started yet. Who’s to say what will happen between now and then. I don’t even know if we will be alive, much less if I will be waiting for you with open arms! Let’s be realistic.”

“Realistic. Yes, we wouldn’t want to be anything but.” Draco hissed, his eyes narrowing to slits.

“There’s no need for you to get nasty.” Ginny said, the bite leaving her voice. “If you and I were living in a different time and place, then what you just said would have made me the happiest witch alive. But we aren’t. So knowing you love me doesn’t really do much of anything for me.”

“Ginny, don’t you love me?” Draco asked in a whisper.

“Of course I do! What on earth would I be doing here if I didn’t? Why do you think I haven’t turned you in? But I’m not going to throw my life away because a boy wants me to.”

“I’m a right thicko, now aren’t I?” Draco sneered. “Here I was thinking that we… that you and I were… and all the while you were taking the piss! Didn’t what I told you mean anything?”

“Yes, it meant something! It made my heart skip a beat; it made me feel more alive then I have ever felt before. But how does that change anything? You’re acting like we are two muggle kids, like we haven’t a care in the world and can do whatever the bloody hell we want. We aren’t. Nothing we do is in a vacuum. Everything has a consequence. You need to accept that.” Ginny brought her hands to her eyes and groaned. “Stop making this into a personal rejection.”

“I fail to see how you leaving me could be anything but.” Draco said obstinately.

“That’s because you’re too self-absorbed to ever think about anything but yourself!” Ginny snarled. “It’s always all about you. Your feelings, your family, your effing needs. Well what about mine? Do you think I like lying to my friends? Do you think I enjoy sneaking around behind my brother’s back? Have you ever thought for one second about how much it hurts to hold Dean’s hand when I want to be holding yours?”

“Whose fault is that?” Draco asked bitterly.

“Yours! Mine. Both of ours.” Ginny shook her head. “Nothing about our relationship has ever been right.”

“Bollocks!” Draco rose onto one arm and glared at her. “We are right. You and I. The two of us together. That’s right.”

Ginny sighed. “Draco, I explained all this when I told you I didn’t want to see you any more and I don’t want to do it again.” Ginny said soothingly.

“That’s rubbish! I didn’t believe you then and I don’t believe you now.”

“You should. I meant it. It’s not that what you said doesn’t matter to me, it does, but I made my choice and I mean to stand by it.”

“And the fact that I love you has no effect whatsoever on that choice?” Draco laughed coldly. “It’s nice to know how much I mean.”

“That’s taking it a bit too far.” Ginny said. “You aren’t giving me some easy problem to solve. I care about you, but if I have to pick between you and my family, they will win every time.”

“Being my witch doesn’t cut you off from your family.” Draco said sulkily.

“And in which fantasy land is that true?” Ginny snapped. “I am Ginny Weasley. My family and I are all members of the Order. We are firmly behind Albus Dumbledor. You are Draco Malfoy. Your and your family are Death Eaters. You are part of some plot to do something awful to the school. For fuck’s sake, Draco, you have a bloody Dark Mark tattooed across your arm! How does your loving me change that? How?”

“We could run away together.” Draco said desperately. “We could go some place where no one knows us and live like muggles.”

Ginny sighed and rubbed her eyes. “How long do you think it would be before the Death Eaters found us? You happen to have a homing device planted on you Draco.” She shook her head. “There’s no place we could run to that they wouldn’t find us. And even if there was, how would we live? We haven’t finished our schooling. We wouldn’t be able to find jobs. Without jobs we wouldn’t be able to feed ourselves. I’m only fifteen Draco. You aren’t that much older.”

“I was old enough to get this.” Draco said angrily, gesturing at his left arm.

“Maybe. I don’t think you were. Or at least, I don’t think anyone should have asked you to make such and important choice. If you hadn’t said yes then we could have a future together. But you did, and we don’t.”

“Oh yeah, like I really could have said no.” Draco snarled. “And do you think I would be alive if I had? Do you think my parents would be breathing? You act as if I had a choice Ginny. I didn’t. And now I am losing you because of it.”

“I’m sorry.” Ginny said again, knowing the words did nothing to help. “I wish I could change things. I wish we could be together. If I could get my hands on a timeturner, I would. But I can’t. I can’t change the facts anymore than you can. So let’s just leave it at that, okay?”

Draco opened his mouth but Ginny stopped him by kissing him. Her lips and tongue played softly over his for a few minuets. Then she pulled away.

“I have to go.” Ginny said as she disentangled herself.

“Ginny, stay.”

“I can’t. I shouldn’t have come in the first place.”

 _Sunday, May 12, 1997: The Room of Requirement, eleven forty-five am_

Ginny was sitting with her hands clasped tightly in her lap. Her eyes were downcast and she was chewing nervously on her bottom lip. She didn’t know if he would come, not after all they had said last time, but she hoped he would. She heard the door open and she raised her head just in time to see Draco slip in, carefully closing it behind him.

“Ginny?” Draco said hesitantly.

She gave a half-hearted smile and said “I’m glad you came.”

“I didn’t expect to be hearing from you again. I thought, well, have you changed your mind then?” He asked hopefully.

Ginny frowned and took a deep breath. “No, I haven’t. I just wanted to tell you something. Well, tell isn’t exactly what I had in mind, explaining would be a better word. You see, I,” she took another breath and started again. “I kissed Harry last night. After the game. It was sort of out of the blue; I hadn’t planned on doing it but he was standing there looking at me like he needed me and then he was kissing me and I didn’t stop him.”

Draco blinked at her. “Is this a joke?”

“No. I would never joke with you about something like this.” Ginny said in a rush.

“No, don’t think that you would. Not something as important as you finally getting to snog Scarhead.” Draco scowled. “Was it everything you thought it would be? Did you see stars? Did it make you forget every bloke you ever kissed before?”

Ginny drew back from his anger. “Draco, don’t be like that.”

“You can’t be serious.” Draco stalked over to her and stuck his face in hers. “I told you I loved you not even a week ago and here you are fawning over that idiot!”

“I am not fawning! And I broke up with you.” Ginny said, her voice cracking. “That means that it is over between us. So even if I was fawning, which I’m not, it wouldn’t matter. I don’t have to be here. I didn’t have to tell you. I just didn’t want you to have to hear it from someone else. I didn’t want it to hurt more than it had to.”

“Not make it hurt more than it had to? Ginny, how did you think that would work?” Draco let out a breath and started pacing the room.

Ginny watched him, her hands trembling. “He asked me to be his girlfriend and I said yes. I didn’t even stop to think about it. It seemed like the right thing to do, the sort of thing I should be doing. I guess I wanted to make things better for him. But after he left all I could think about was you.”

“What!” Draco roared. “Have you gone mental?”

“I’m telling you that I am with Harry now. I’m doing what everyone says I should, but it doesn’t make me happy. He doesn’t make me feel a tenth of what you do.”

“And is that suppose to make everything better?”

“No. It’s the truth. I owe you that much.”

“Thank you so much. I’m bloody grateful.”

“I love you Draco. I always will.”

“And that helps me how?”

“It’s not meant to help. It’s not meant to do anything.”

“That’s great, because it’s not.” Draco stopped pacing and turned towards her. “I don’t know what you’re playing at Ginny, but it seems to me that you are trying to ease your guilty conscious, and I won’t let you.” And with that he left the room.

 _Friday, May 31, 1997: The Room of Requirement, eight ten pm_

Ginny stood in front of a battered mirror, tears streaming down her cheeks. Her eyes were focused on the boy reflected in it, his hair gleaming in the bright sunlight. She drank in the sound of his voice, trying desperately to pretend that he was standing there before her. She sobbed as her hands traced the contours of his face, her fingers gently stroking the glass as if he could feel it.

“Come back” she whispered to the empty room. “Come back and be safe.”


End file.
